For a presentation I’m doing in a little bit, I needed a piece of clipart to represent the concept “sexy.” I did a search which resulted in two bits of media. One was a piece of audio that sounded like the kind of music you would get when Bugs Bunny stuffed oranges down the front of a dress and tried to bang whoever that racist cowboy guy was. Only shittier and made with a free, on-screen keyboard app of some kind.
The other piece was this image:
Now, I’m not necessarily disagreeing with the sexiness of the picture. I mean, maybe it is. I don’t know that we all agree on cowboy hats paired with what is essentially a clayface makeup woman, but whatever.
What makes this curious to me is that this is the ONLY image that comes up after searching “sexy.” There are certainly other images that work. In fact, I found one of the bottom half of a woman, who is wearing a bikini, has a belly button ring, and is using the part of her bikini bottom that wraps around her hip as a way to hold sunglasses. So it’s not that clip art is all for prudes or something.
But apparently the above image is the only one that everyone at Microsoft could agree upon as being sexy.
So I guess nerds know something. And if you are the woman pictured above, and you’re out there, congratulations. Maybe it’s like being the most tech-savvy member of a bizarre cult that lives in caves created by breaking holes in rocks, jamming branches inside the holes and soaking the branches to swell them and slowly increase the holes until they are big enough to live in. Maybe it’s like that very specific reference, but it’s still a sort of an honor.