A friend once pointed out to me the best part of Willy Wonka. When Charlie opens the candy bar and there’s no golden ticket inside, he says, “I bet that golden ticket makes the chocolate taste terrible.”
Hilarious.
The kid is so depressed that he’s already come up with a coping mechanism. You could call it looking on the bright side. Extreme searching, but still.
I’ve decided to come up with a few phrases to do this for myself.
“Having a wallet that’s so empty means that it lasts for a really long time. No worries about wallet structural integrity for me!”
“Living underground means that I don’t have to worry about birds flying into my windows and dying. What a relief!”
“I meet a lot of people who worry that they are overexcited at their workplace. I’m so glad that I don’t have to concern myself with that!”
“I know a lot of people worry about dying alone. But looking at family history, I should be pretty demented. When there’s a strange killer in your house all the time who is coming after you with a serrated knife, you’re never really alone!”
“You know, I bet people who drive nice cars don’t really get to appreciate the variety of road surfaces out there. Their loss!”
“The thing is, if I wasn’t crippingly lonely, I don’t think I’d really understand how loud silence can be!”
“Crying myself to sleep every night means I have to be really good about changing my sheets and pillowcases regularly. It really keeps me on the ball!”