Librarian of the Year Diary: Day 6

I looked for a pair of giant scissors in case I have to do a ribbon cutting somewhere. I figured I should practice so I didn’t look like a goofus when the time came. If someone wanted me to open a mall, you bet your fucking ass I’d open that mall, and I’d open it like never before. Then I’d get way more mall-opening gigs off the strength of that one, and then even after I wasn’t librarian of the year anymore maybe I could start a new career opening shit. If you’re the very best at something, it doesn’t matter what it is. You’re the best, so it’s like, Should we pick someone else? Fuck you!