Howdy! If you’re here, it’s probably because someone sent you here, probably because you’re using Reply All incorrectly.
DO NOT BE MAD AT THIS PERSON. This is you being defensive. The person sent you here because they don’t want to be the bad guy, but they Reply All thing is getting out of hand.
No need to be defensive. You may not fully understand the rules and etiquette, and this is your chance. Sit back, take a read, and then you can make a choice whether or not you want to annoy people via email instead of doing it by accident.
The Only Question You Need To Ask
There’s only one question you need to ask when deciding whether to reply or reply all: Do all the people on this list need my response?
A common type of email that is abused by Reply All is the farewell email:
I wanted to let everyone know I’m moving on to a new opportunity! Thanks for your kindness, and here’s my new contact info. Stay in touch!
It’s a great idea to respond to this email with well wishes. But, remember the one question: Does everyone on the email need my response?
Another common one is someone trying to do some scheduling:
Let’s meet. Please reply to me with some days of the week that are generally good for you.
Should you respond? Yes. To everyone? Well, let’s ask the question: Does everyone need my response? Again, the answer is No. The person setting up the meeting needs a response from everyone, and if there’s an issue, they can pull the gathered info together and update the group.
What’s The Big Deal?
Some feel that extra email isn’t a big deal. It’s just a digital message you can delete if you don’t want it.
Consider that some of us deal with far more messages in a day than others. If you’re sorting through a lot of email, and if email is a significant part of your daily tasks, then sorting through unnecessary email is a significant drain on your time.
Consider that some of us have a lot to do, and we’re not trying to run out the clock. If we can be doing productive work instead of sorting through emails, that’s very helpful.
Consider also that while it might take 2 seconds to read an email and see that it can be deleted, if you’ve sent this out to 30 people, you’ve wasted a minute of time, in total. Small potatoes, but it’s not your minute to waste.
Basically, it’s a waste of time, and it’s rude. You’re inserting yourself into someone else’s workflow unnecessarily.
So, What, I Can’t Send Fun Emails?
That’s not what I’m saying. You absolutely can send fun or warm/fuzzy emails. Send them to people intentionally, though. Not to everyone who happens to be on a previous email. Pick your audience for these sorts of things, and send accordingly. It’s fine to insert yourself into someone else’s work day if you are fairly sure that this would be welcome.
Are You Keeping Up Appearances?
In the above example, the one with the farewell email, sometimes people Reply All because they want to demonstrate that they are caring, considerate people.
You’re doing the opposite.
If you really care about someone, you don’t need to have it be a performative act. You can privately tell them you value their contributions. This means more to the person you’re speaking with. It’s more genuine. Where the email Reply All makes it seem like you’re complimenting someone so that everyone else can see what a nice person you are.
Truly nice people don’t need everyone else to see this email, because truly nice people earn their reputation over time.
Replying All on this one is ladder-climbing, selfish behavior. It benefits you at the expense of the person saying goodbye.
How To Break The Cycle
- Explicitly Tell People To Not Reply All: If you’re putting out an email that requires replies, remind people that they only need to reply to you. You can help people feel good about this by saying you’ll bring the results back to the group. Nobody’s missing anything.
- Don’t Be Tempted: Maybe everyone is Replying All on a farewell email. Don’t bite. You can still reply to only the person saying goodbye. Nobody is going to remember or notice you didn’t weigh in publicly, and making a real connection with one person leaving the organization is better networking than making a superficial gesture organization-wide.
- Rope In: Remember, it’s email. You can forward an email to someone and rope them in on the conversation if that becomes necessary. This means you can default to fewer people on an email, and then bring people in intentionally. It’s not like the email gets sent and there’s no adding people in later. But if you Reply All unnecessarily, you can’t retroactively buy everyone’s time back.