“A bunch of flattened Wes Anderson characters gather to divvy up an estate.
Okay, here’s why this sucks:
Our main character has this quirk: she vomits whenever she lies. Uncontrollably, instantly, she hurls.
How does she overcome this issue when the movie needs her to?
She just does.
Oh, okay. Cool.
I guess, up to now, she’s never tried not vomiting before. “Like, what if I just…didn’t?”
Even in a picture book for little kids when, I don’t know, a dragon can’t breathe fire and then will obviously need to breathe fire for the ending, to cook a pizza or something, they’ll throw in some crap like, “The dragon’s mom told him not to worry about it, that when he needed to, when his fire was needed to help his friends, he’d find the fire right here, inside.”
Knives Out is just like, “I know we set up this problem for the entire length of this movie, which builds tension because you know the character will eventually need to lie, but instead of making that work somehow, we’ll just put a pin in the balloon, pop the tension because the lady can do just overcome anything because she tries, and move on.”
The movie is, otherwise, pretty boring. And Daniel Craig, excuse me, Col. Daniel Craig, is the only one who understood the assignment and is goofy and quirky. The rest, eh, Jamie Lee Curtis seems like a lady who does commercials for yogurt that gives you diarrhea. Chris Evans seems like a handsome guy.
I get it, people want to watch rich assholes get their comeuppance. But let’s not confuse something we’d like to happen with a story.”