Kind of a Problem with Colorado Sports

1960

“Alright, we have a basketball team set:  The Denver Broncos.  What should we pick as the team colors?”

“How about really shitty orange?  That way fans will be highly visible.”

“Good Idea.”

1974

“So it’s settled:  Denver Nuggets.  How about we go around and pick some colors.”

“Gold, obviously.  They’re the NUGGETS.”

“Hmm…I see what you’re saying, but I’m just wondering if people are a little hesitant to go with gold clothing.  It’s not super-practical, you know, for everyday stuff.”

“I have a feeling that’s going to change.  The 2000’s are a short time away.  We’re going to lead the pack, fashion-wise.”

1993

“Finally, a baseball team:  the Colorado Rockies.  Good work, guys.  Now, let’s get to working on some colors.”

“Purple is an obvious choice.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  Purple mountains’ majesty.  Above the fruited plain.”

“Heh.  Fruited is right.”

“Oh, fuck you!”

“No, fuck you!  Just once I want to be able to wear a Denver team shirt without being so goddamn embarrassed that I want to just, just die.”

“C’mon.  We’ll get chicks this way.”

“…okay, purple.  Now, the one other thing here is the mascot situation.”

“Dinosaur.  Done.”

1995

“We did it, gentlemen.  A hockey team: the Colorado Avalanche.  What are you thinking, color-wise.”

“I was thinking blue.”

“Blue…yeah, I like that.  That’s a pretty normal color.  What sort of blue are we talking about?”

“Oh, most definitely a weird, rich blue that looks like wrestling mats.”

“Great.  And what do you want to go with that?  Turquoise or something?”

“Nope.  Burgundy.”

“Fuck.”

1996

“Colorado Rapids.  Colors?”

“We’re going to start bad.  But then we’re going to move to a pretty nice red/blue combo in a couple years.”

“Hey…alright!  So I can wear that shit whenever I want!  Wait, what sport is this?”

“Soccer.”

“Oh, goddamn it.”