“I’m a big Zdarsky fan. Maybe mostly of his mayoral run.
It seems like his stuff doesn’t work for everyone, and I think it’s because there’s a blend between funny and serious that doesn’t work for everyone. And that’s cool.
Well, it’s not cool. It’s very dorky that some of you aren’t fans. But I can’t help you not be dorky. This isn’t a John Hughes movie.
Okay, but if it was, here’s what I’d tell you:
1. Stop Being a Nerd
Just cool it with the nerd action, okay?
2. Start Being Cool
Whatever stuff you would do as a nerd, do…not the opposite. Ask a cool person what they’d do. Can you get a cool person’s phone number? And their willingness to text you back at any moment?
3. Ride a Motorcycle
I mean, duh.
4. Anything That’s Unsafe is Cool
No helmets, no seatbelts, but do smoke. Basically, anything that’s a bad idea, do that, and it’s cool. What do you want to do, live til 100 being uncool? That’s a long time to be uncool.
5. Virginity Might Have Something To Do With It?
Based on some films I saw in the late 90’s, having a sex with someone is a good way to be cool.
6. Don’t Forget The Girl Right By Your Side!
As you go on your adventure to flush your most precious gift of virginity down the urinal, don’t forget that there’s probably a girl best friend who is interested in you romantically. Sure, she wears overalls and glasses and has a ponytail. But if there’s one thing I learned about doing sexes, it’s that ponytails are just a hairstyle, and most of the time ladies with a ponytail don’t have other horse anatomy. Mostly. 9 times out of 10. “