John Steinbeck, In Hell, Must Answer High Schoolers’ Questions About His Books For Eternity

JS:  Yes, you in the…the hat.

Kid:  Um.  Yeah.  So in that book where the two guys work on the farm?

JS: Of Mice and Men.

Kid:  Yeah.  That thing.  Why did that one dude shoot the other dude in the face instead of running away?

JS:  Well, that might have been the moral choice in a way.  But sometimes it’s more interesting when a character doesn’t make the moral choice, don’t you think?

Kid:  Maybe.  I don’t know.  I just.  How come they couldn’t like steal a car and make a break for it?  You could have put a chase scene in there.

JS:  That’s true.  To be honest, I don’t know if that would have served the story, really.

Kid:  But wouldn’t it be awesome?

JS:  I suppose.  I was really looking for more of an emotional climax.

Kid:  They could have been crying in the car.

JS:  True.  Yes, I suppose.

Kid:  Um, Mr. Steinbeck?  What kind of gun would you put in the movie?  Like a cool one?  Do you think the guy would hold it sidewise, all gangster, or do you think he’d hold it straight?

JS:  I really don’t know.  Straight, I imagine.

Kid:  That’s what I think too.  That’s cool.  Hey, how come that one dude was named Curly?  That’s not a very tough name.  He was supposed to be all hard.  Shouldn’t he have a name like Diesel or Iron Mike or something?

JS: It wasn’t.  I always thought of Curly as less tough than he thought he was.

Kid:  Oh.  Hey, what was with that thing where he wore a glove with Vaseline inside?  That shit was fucked up.

JS:  Haha, oh yeah.  That was just to fuck with high school English teachers.  Now they have to explain that for the next century.  Haha, one of my best ideas.