that they make tampons with motivational slogans on the wrapper.
The slogans themselves look pretty similar to the ones that I found inside the waist of a pair of women’s pants. Which I wore while golfing, and I looked pretty good, fuck you very much.
The thing is, when I see a piece of writing, I always like to imagine I can do better.
What sort of slogans would I like to see?
Congratulations. It’s not a boy!
I’ll say this, as a youth, the evidence that you’ve dodged the bullet of becoming a parent is something to celebrate. Sure, it would be great if this information could be passed via a discreetly-placed indicator light somewhere on the human body, but sometimes we have to take what we can get.
If your partner is grossed out by having sex with you on your period, that person is a loser.
There are two inventions that completely solve this issue. Showers and darkness. Use a combo, use either one, but c’mon. It’s not that complicated.
This package is made from 100% recyclable material.
Okay, it totally isn’t. But number one, I’m a believer in fake it til you make it. And number two, might as well give the person the option to say, “Well, that’s something.”
[collected facts about WWII]
You can never have enough WWII trivia.