I fell down the stairs. And into a bar fight.
I was holding up a pair of binoculars to watch a bird. Then the bird flew directly into the binoculars, mashing the eyepieces into my face. I was totally fine, but then some guys came out of a bar and thought I was using the binoculars to spy on a lady, so then we got in a bar fight.
I got in a bar fight. I mean, a bunch of guys hit me with bars. Those bars that you play pool with? Whatever those are called? I think part of why they beat me up is because I kept asking too many questions about pool.
Before I go to a bar I usually make one of my eyes black with makeup. That way people figure you already learned some kind of lesson. The other day, though, some guys figured out that I was wearing makeup. Words were exchanged and then there was a bar fight.
Did you know there’s a bar at the zoo? Where you can get beat up? In a bar fight? In the eye? On Valentine’s Day?