Super Bowl Committee: Okay, then you start hearing the opening riff to “Sweet Child O Mine” and then, Boom, Slash comes out of nowhere and he’s on stage playing.
Me: Yes, perfect. That’s perfect. A great riff, Slash is a recognizable guy. This is the kind of shit I’ve been wanting you guys to do all along. Finally, it’s all coming together.
SBC: Yeah. And then we’ll have Fergie sing the song, close it out, and then we’ll shoot off some fireworks or some shit.
Me: Ah. And Fergie, we’re still talking about the transsexual from the Black Eyed Peas?
SBC: Yep.
Me: And the Black Eyed Peas is still not a band where any sort of singing happens, right?
SBC: They’re more..dance-y. More electronic, I guess.
Me: Okay. So how is Fergie, from the band that doesn’t require singing, going to sing not only A song, but one of the more difficult songs she could have picked from not only the entirety of popular music, but even from the Guns N’ Roses catalogue?
SBC: Well, we’re not going to worry about it. She’s a professional.
Me: Uh huh. And do we get our money back if she’s shit?
SBC: I don’t think it works that way.
Me: Is there any way we could lightly, delicately suggest she pick a song that doesn’t have so many, you know, notes and shit?
SBC: I think she’s committed to that one.
Me: Well, fuck me then. Okay, screw it. Let’s move onto discussing how gigantic you can blow up a Snickers banner without pixellating it.