It turns out that there ARE a couple downsides to installing a gyros spindle into the structure of your apartment.
For one thing, when you’re ready to move out, the landlord gives you endless, endless shit. The things this guy said, you would die. You would just die.
Landlords will tell you that you’re supposed to pay this damage deposit, and then what they want to do is say, Oh boy, you didn’t leave a full tray of ice cubes in the freezer, or the ones you left in there were kind of stale a freezer-y tasting, so I guess you can’t have any of that money back because now I gots make whole new ice.
So when you actually do damage, really significant damage to an apartment, they get upset because they probably have to spend that money on fixing your apartment instead of going on a landlord cruise or doing whatever it is they do with all that deposit money that they’re never going to give you back in a million years.
They ask you stuff too, like, “What am I supposed to say when someone comes to look at this place and sees this?”
Answers they won’t accept:
You’re welcome!
It’s a gyros spindle!
It’s a gyros spindle, idiot!
I kind of think my landlord was racist because if I installed a pizza oven (Italian) he would have been really happy and probably would have come over all the time to toss dough in the air and make it into a disc with me. Or if I installed a toaster oven (white) he would have been cool with that, and maybe we would have heated up food and because it takes so fucking long we could have talked about how much nicer toaster oven food is than microwave food.
So no damage deposit, plus he sent me a letter saying that I’m being sued. I think it’s bullshit, and already he should knock off the deposit plus the cost of mailing me the letter because he already told me he was going to sue me and the cost of that letter was totally unnecessary.
The lesson I took away from this adventure, installing a gyros spindle in order to give myself a new hobby and get over my girlfriend, was that you should date people you don’t like at all. That way, when they break up with you, your feelings won’t be hurt so bad and you can just drink too many drinks on a couple days or paint a stupid painting or something.