A lot of people do weird things when they break up with someone. Like get a haircut or start showering or stop showering.
I usually buy new bedclothes. It’s something you should probably do anyway, and it’s like starting fresh when your bed smells like Target.
I always go to Target because after back to school happens most of the stuff for lil beds is on clearance. I don’t understand why people have such big beds all the time. It’s like, why would you sit in a car and have a chair that’s three times wider than your body? Maybe these are people who are really into Jnco pants or something and like extra width wherever it shows up.
The clearance aisle was pretty empty. All that was left was a set that was opened already and it said College all over everything. I almost didn’t buy them because that’s sort of like lying, but then I thought that if I slept with someone they would already know I’m not in college because I don’t sleep around with people before we’ve discussed whether or not we’re in college and how we feel about that (Usually it goes Her: Yes, Great. Me: No, Greater and I’ll Explain Why You’re Wrong). So I bought the sheets and the matching pillowcases. The designs were kind of crazy though, and it was hard to sleep because even when my eyes were closed there were all these really graphical hearts and wings and stuff and I kind of felt like my eyes were still open.
The next day I still felt sad, so I decided I needed to make a bigger change. I went to the same gyros place I always go when I’m down, and I was sitting at the counter and wondering just what the hell that white sauce was anyway when it came to me.
I needed to put a gyros spindle in my apartment.
TO BE CONTINUED…