“I just don’t think it’s right that I buy this nice, big cooler and now I have to deface it with permanent marker all over just so the kid can take it on some school trip. I hate that shit. I hate how you see something perfectly nice with someone’s dumb name scrawled all the fuck over it. Frankly, I’d rather lose the thing altogether than keep it when it looks like complete shit, so I say leave the name off it and that’s final.”
“Can we stop buying these Wiggles CD’s? The kid is five. He doesn’t know the difference between music that’s supposed to be for him and Queen. He can just listen to Queen and we’ll both be happy.”
“Isn’t there some kind of night league he could join or something? I just don’t understand why we have to get up at 8 AM so he can run around in some grass, making a fool of all of us. ”
“Well, he could sit in the back being ‘safe’ or he could ride shotgun and do something productive, like hold my goddamn hashbrowns. I’m still doing 90% of the work here. I don’t think it’s a lot to ask from someone who is essentially a freeloader for 12 straight years that he put himself in a minute amount of danger here and there.”