“The Fantastic Four are like the DC universe characters that just by chance are in the Marvel U. By that I mean: I never know what the fuck is going on with them. They’re always in a dimension or a portal or a parallelogramiverse or whatever. Which is fine, and then they get out of it and do a different thing that’s kind of the same thing but this time there are gillmen or something.
Dan Slott’s a good writer, and that’s what brought me to this book. But Thing barely clobbers, Johnny barely flames, and holy shit, I don’t know if Sue Storm was invisible once.
And I DO NOT care about Valeria and…Todd? Jason…Franklin? I think it’s Franklin. Whatever, it’s the Fantastic Four, not Fantastic Four Babiez with a backwards Z. I don’t know how to type a backwards Z. So if you wanna see this review as I intended, you’ll have to go to my web site, then look up the registration to my web site so you can come to my house. Then you’ll have to break in because I’m not letting you in because you “read my review on Goodreads.” That’s the start of a story where I get killed and nobody feels bad for me.”