“Drive Angry”

“My biggest disappointment of Cagemas 2021, the holiday where we watched 12 Nicolas Cage movies, which turned into 14 because why not?

This movie was perfectly set up to be a hilarious action nonsense romp, but then the few action things that happen just don’t work out.

For example: There’s a scene where Nicolas Cage picks up a lady, he’s having sex with her in a motel, and assassins come for him. So he’s blowing people away WHILE having sex.

Afterward, the woman is interviewed by the cops, and she’s clearly traumatized, which is realistic and NOT what anyone who watches this movie is looking for.

Sorry, but you need a Jerry Bruckheimer-esque scene where she’s being interviewed by the cops, and she’s a weirdo who had a good time. The cop (who should probably be Delroy Lindo) is fed up and tells a couple uniforms to keep an eye on that lady.

Totally unrealistic? Yes, 100%.

And that’s kinda what I came for.”