Do you own….
ٱ A stockpile of really shitty microwave pizzas, the kind where the pepperonis are cubed somehow
ٱ A filthy microwave in which to cook said pizzas
ٱ A fog machine that spews a cloud of what smells like cherry cigarillo smoke
ٱ A complete distaste for children and teens between the ages of six and nineteen
Does your logo have….
ٱ Lightning
ٱ Very sharp edges, like metal album art
ٱ The colors purple and silver colliding
ٱ The ability to be badly embroidered onto shitty polo shirts and hats
Do You Have…
ٱ A facial scar, hook hand, or something that all the kids can rumor about all day
ٱ Some kind of scheme related to tokens as money
ٱ About 20 minutes each day to look in the mirror, rub your face, and say quietly to yourself, “What the fuuuuuck am I doing?”