So it turns out that I subconsciously decided to (poorly) model my hair after Eric from Boy Meets World.
This would be a great decision if I had a dad who owned a sporting goods store and was around, had a little brother who had amazingly curly hair, had a mom who wore flannel always, had a teacher who was helpful in fake life but would be super fucking annoying in real life, and if Ethan Suplee was still fat.
Shit.