“Wow, we wrote a second issue!
Me and my brother waded in again, did a second issue of our digital magazine about videogames with a title that is a not-at-all-whatsoever-clever pun for masturbation, and here it is!
And look at that beautiful cover. Headless, pink bubble gum men. I spent hours staring at those torsos, which might not seem too bad based on your proclivities, but trust me, you can’t stare at shredded abs like that too long without feeling at least a little shitty about yourself.
So do me a favor, give us a read. If for no other reason than to help pay for the blow to my body image, which will require therapy and/or possibly some donuts so I can just accept reality and really get that gut pooched out.”