A bit back I wrote a column about Kindle Vella, a new thing from Amazin! That’s what I call it. I think it’s Amazin! Mostly because none of you indie bookstore fuckers will put my self-published nonsense on the shelves. The first bookstore that does, you’ve got a cheerleader 4 LIFE. I don’t care if your owner goes to space, works people to death, divorces his wife, hell, maybe even kills a kid by sideswiping him on a Segway and knocking him into a volcano. If you put my shit on your shelf, I’ll be like, “Well, while that’s not traditionally a Segway route…”
I’ve started posting stories to Kindle Vella. Not stories, essays. About stuff. What stuff? Well, so far there’s one about the Saw movies, one about Metallica, and one about this lady who smoked the jazz cabbage and got kicked out of the Olympics. Range, eh?
My plan is to take a position on these, the position I perceive to be less popular. Some people might think I’m just being contrarian. They’re wrong. I’m being PROFESSIONALLY contrarian.
For now, I’m not sure how the hell you find Kindle Vella unless you have a link or look it up pretty specifically. Amazin! isn’t doing an amazin job of promoting this shit so far.
This whole thing might be a total crash and burn. But I’m pretty sure the first 3-5 episodes of anything are free, so you’ve got very little to lose, here. Besides, of all my endeavors, I’m pretty sure this one is going to be the launchpad for fortune and fame and then maybe a second, smaller, but still admirable, fortune. Which means you’ll want to get in on the ground floor.
Oh, also, if you’ve got any topics you’d like me to tackle, I’ll entertain just about anything. I might not write about it, but I’ll read your suggestion and mock it when you’re not in earshot. That’s what it means to “entertain” something, right? It’s entertaining to me, anyway…