I wanted to let you know that I find the Recycle Bin idea very lame. It was cute for a time, and I suppose it’s thematically accurate because you are basically reusing the same filespace in some ways. But this is 2012. It’s time to move on. Below is a list of Recycle Bin alternatives I came up with. Enjoy!
VOLCANO
I’ve always wanted to throw garbage into a volcano. Frankly, and I should probably point out here that I have no geologic or waste management background, I don’t understand why we’re not doing that already. You throw it in, it melts away into nothing, the gods are sated, we all move on in a world free of garbage.
WINDOW ON THE HIGHWAY
I know, it’s kind of the opposite of the Recycle Bin. But think about it. You guys make WINDOWS. People use your shit to access the information super HIGHWAY.
Everything is moving so fast these days, no time to stop and recycle. Just throw that shit out the window, let the power of nature prove its worth.
Plus, and I’ve always had a problem with this, why are we babying nature so much? Since the dawn of man, nature has been trying to kill man with its weathers and its beasts and its hard and pointy stuff. Now we’ve got nature on the ropes and we’re just going to give up? Bullshit.
T-REX
Is there someone who doesn’t want to see a file pop up on the desktop and then watch as a T-Rex bursts out of nowhere and devours it? If that person is out there, I hope they are enjoying the insane asylum.
CAMPFIRE
As an experienced camper, I can tell you that when camping, the fire BECOMES the garbage can, which is extremely fun. I’ll save up my garbage for weeks before I go camping just so I can throw it in the fire. The living garbage can. You could stack the files there, and then when you want to “empty” the garbage you would light the campfire and watch that shit burn.
Some people will tell you that certain things can’t go in the fire, like plastic and styrofoam and broken glass. These are people who aren’t confident enough in their fire-making abilities. Don’t pay them any nevermind.
SEWER OPENING
Are the sewer and the trash the same thing? Some say no. But does throwing something in the sewer appear to have the EXACT SAME effect as throwing it into a nearby garbage can? If you’re not sure, then try it and then YOU tell ME.