Stop it.
This is a little boy. He’s what, 12?
When I was 12 I was still relatively certain the vagina was on the front. Turns out it’s sort of down and around. Who would have thought? What the fuck’s up with that, huh?
Anyway, kids don’t know shit. If you can’t even locate the vagina, you probably don’t have a lot to tell me.
What the fuck is up with parties on kid shows and music videos, by the way? What are they doing? They’re not getting drunk or doing drugs. Did you ever go to one of those when you were young, too young to drink? Wasn’t that weird as all shit? You didn’t really know what to do, and it wasn’t until a couple years later that you figured out, Oh, you drink things until you feel okay about being in someone’s shitty garage watching their pit bull chase around moths all night.
If you’ve never arced vomit across a stranger’s living room, you have nothing to tell me about partying.
And why the fuck do grown-up recording artists take interest in little boys? Remember Jermaine Dupri and Lil Bow Wow. That turned out really well. Let’s see, we got a movie where a kid finds shoes that give him Michael Jordan powers, sort of a shittier Rookie of the year, which no one thought possible. And then the kid got raped by his limo driver. Fantastic. The only recording artist who should give a shit about a little kid is Justin Timberlake because this actually makes him seem like a legitimate, old school, real recording artist. He’s young as shit, but compared to a little boy he might as well be Lemi from Motorhead.
I don’t understand the lines here, either. Somehow it’s okay for Tina Fey to joke about being his teacher and wanting to fuck him, but if I wrote something speculating on the size, shape, curve, skin, and so on of his dick, I would be a weirdo. THAT would be weird.
You people need to stop having him on your shows, or using his name as a punchline. Just let him go through the natural child star cycle, fading into obscurity and shooting himself in the woods, like Boner from Growing Pains.
Best,
Helpful Snowman