Hey man. Come on in. I’ll grab my keys and we’ll get going.
Cool, cool. So this is a nice…hey, what the fuck is that?
What?
That dartboard thing? With the picture of Eric on it.
Oh, that’s one of my enemy dartboards. I put pictures of my enemies on dartboards and throw darts at them.
Really? You really do that? Like in the cartoons?
Yeah! Exactly, like in the cartoons! I think it’s a healthy way to get out some negative feelings.
Healthy? You think it’s healthy?
Yeah!
To throw a dart, a pointed piece of metal, INTO the eye of someone you really know, from real life, as a way of dealing with stress.
It looked really good on TV.
So does Whitney Cummings. And believe me, things that look good on TV aren’t always good in real life.
Hmm. I have to respectfully disagree.
Okay. Well. I don’t know if we can be friends anymore. This really freaks me the fuck out.
Oh. Uh. Cool. Alright then. [snaps picture with phone]. I’ll just need to make a trip to the dart store.
There’s a dart store?
Nope. And I’ll need to go to Kinko’s.
They make these for you at Kinko’s?
Not really. Look, I just want you to understand that your disapproval has resulted in you becoming one of my many dart boards. You’ve turned to enemy status. DARTBOARD enemy status. Which is the worst.