“Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Vol. 1: The Crucible (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, #1)”

“I think it’d help if I knew anything about the original Sabrina, aka Witch Explains It All.

I don’t know much. I know there were two zany aunts and a talking cat that was portrayed by a pretty terrible-looking puppet. That’s what I know.

I assume it was also very important to keep all the witchiness a secret because that’s a staple of this sort of thing. That’s the whole premise of Bewitched, right? Some idiot marries a witch but insists on going to work every day instead of having her just twitch her nose and create a pile of cash out of thin air. Sure, the cash is probably cursed, but if you work 40+ hours per week, I think you get over that whole “cursed money” thing real quick.

Anyway, Sabrina, this new Sabrina, is alright. But it felt a little like your standard witch stuff for most of the book. Towards the very end things pick up a little, but it didn’t feel all that new and exciting.

Also, witch narratives are obsessed with this whole Salem Witch Trials thing. They just can’t let that one go. It was fucked up, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not being horrified by this brand new info or anything. You mean they basically tortured confessions out of people? Well, I never!”