Chapter Headings from Gym Teacher Education Textbook

-So you’re ready to start yelling at kids for money instead of just for fun.

-Jumping Jacks:  What are they?

-Jumping Jacks:  Why are they?

-Where to buy office-casual workout pants.

-Making sports mandatory and how to make them fun only for those who already chose to play them anyway (a primer).

-Archery, because why the fuck not?

-Phrase reference for motivating kids to run in large circle.

-Phrase reference for motivating kids to run in small circle (aka how to adjust for inclement weather).

-Final Chapter: Basically everything anyone ever needed to know about the human body, including the sex stuff, because you will be in charge of that and it would be good if you had at least heard the correct terms for “balls” and “funbags.”