I want you to take a close look at the action figure on the left. What, in your opinion, is the main difference between him and the figure on the right? Ignore the sunglasses. Ignore their skin color, you rascists.
If you haven’t nailed it yet, it’s because you have very little experience with a phenomenon in 90’s toys: Real fabric coats.
Yeah, this was kind of a big deal.
First of all, as a young boy, there was nothing I looked forward to more than dressing up my action figures in clothes that didn’t have guns or pockets for guns and also required me to tie a knot smaller than a ladybug’s dick.
And calling these accessories fabric was kind of misleading. When I think of fabric I think of cotton or polyester or something like that. These coats were made out of something like slip n slide material, but shittier. And they gave off the impression that if they were within 800 miles of a lit match they would burst into flames so hot and fierce that it would burn you to your very core.
And jesus christ, you’d think they could fit the guy for his own jacket. It’s not like twelve different figures were all sharing the same jacket, so why not at least make it sort of fit him instead of having a figure that comes with “Dad’s Jacket” accessory?