“Way more than once upon a time, the Jews were having some really bad days.”
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“Since the dawn of time and then a little more time after that depending on your religious beliefs and whatnot, man has tried to make things easier for himself.”
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“When I asked you for an extension via text message two hours before this was due, I honestly really thought you were going to be cool with it.”
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“I found out that if you try to google a significant portion of this paper to find out how much of it is plagiarized, you’ll end up in a lot of places that give you probably the worst viruses known to man. So I wouldn’t suggest that.”
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“When I set off to write a paper about the art of John Wayne Gacey, I never really thought it would result in me having nightmares so severe that only a combination of prescription sleeping pills and marijuana tincture would be enough to let me sleep just the few precious hours I needed to be a functioning member of society rather than a complete idiot who sits at his desk and thinks about homicide in graphic, realistic detail.”
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“I bet you eighty bucks that I don’t get an A on this paper. IF YOU GET ME.”
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“Since the dawn of WOMAN, HERstory has been changed by lots of brave WOMEN who dared to do so many excellent things that there is no time to WOMENtion them all.”
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“Dude, hemp is good for so much stuff besides smoking like making rope, which we desperately need to school gyms and shit. And did you know that George Washington grew hemp? I know. I heard it and was like, no way! But it totally makes sense if you think about how it should be legal because there is so much other shit you can do with it. And let me just say again that he premise of this paper is that hemp is a great material and should be legal for a lot of reasons, and this premise is totally backed up by good research that proves things about how it’s actually the best material for rope out there and how clothes made from hemp are superior in a number of ways such as washability and wearability, and this paper isn’t just about hemp because I would EVER smoke it. Oh, and I legitimately enjoy the music of Bob Marley, including when I am in a totally sober state.”
Hilarious web comic, nedroid.com