New offer: if you will consider getting a vaccine (and haven’t already gotten one) I will do a full-length podcast on a topic of your choosing. Any topic. You can ask for a topic and hear the result before you get your vaccine. Contact me in any way on any platform and make your request. I’ll do a full hour blowing your small business, discussing minutiae of something I do not understand, telling everyone about how great your self published book is, whatever.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CR9W9jzLwk_/
I’m just a simple fella. But might I humbly suggest that next time we roll back restrictions based on vaccine numbers? That incentivizes people to get vaccinated. “It’s your choice whether or not to get it, and it’s also your choice whether you want concert tickets to cost twice as much because the venue is half capacity.” This also encourages people to talk to their friends and family and convince them to take care of business.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CR7IxTgrN3M/
Um. Not exactly, autocorrect. Not…not even very close.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CR675SJrL6P/
If you haven’t already gotten a vaccine and get one, I will send you ANY of my books for free. 100% free. I’ll ship print or ebook to you if you’re in the US, ebook for internationals. Also, if you convince someone else to get one who hasn’t gotten one already, I’ll send you a book, 100% free. You just have to prove that you got it after today (7/29) and send me the details I need to fill your body with “Literature.”
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CR663L5LVQp/
Things Casual Readers Don’t Care About
Deep Discussions of Canon You know that friend who’s really into bourbon? To an obnoxious degree? They talk about the grains and shit? They compare
Today at @litreactor: “another fantastic article” by yours truly.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CRrE-vtF2GZ/
Writing/Creating Tip: it’s okay to be super pumped about your own work. But…don’t tell everyone that your brilliance gave you goosebumps.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CRrBIwiFBq1/
Peter the Great is a ballcap, Yeti cooler, and ironic America tshirt away from being every asshole right now.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CRq8_bllOKv/
That’s right. ALL the Russias.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CRq8m8clpYL/
Next time someone talks up their Twitter followers I’ll inform them that George Harrison, who died 5 years before Twitter was created, has more followers for his estate than they do for their passions.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CRnIOoVlTnc/
Funny story: about two months ago I got an email from a library I applied to…coming up on three years ago. Just in case you all were wondering how well libraries pay and who besides McDonald’s is getting desperate.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CRmi0pplzQa/
Devil’s Advocate
A bit back I wrote a column about Kindle Vella, a new thing from Amazin! That’s what I call it. I think it’s Amazin! Mostly
Helpful Snowman Radio Ep 470
It’s been a minute! We got beers. 6 hours away. Also, the return of Poonie and the first TSwift Minute.
It took a virtual mailing address, a six-hour drive that touched 3 states, a last-minute car switch, recovery from a hamstring injury (that kept me from sitting for more than 10 minutes at a stretch), but WE DID IT. We got that #4colordemons @rubsam_horrmann beer. @bqquinn @tesdtown #tesd #4colordemons #4colors4life #antcolony #qsbrewz
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CRZExSILXBE/
If you tell me you read Stephen Hawking, I’m out! Learn why at Litreactor.com
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CRWVlO0rpxR/
Stunning proof that time travel is real! Because the only way this happens is someone traveling back to the late 40’s when people would actually green light ideas like parachuting beavers into the backcountry.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CRTzutNrbCA/
Hypothetical #3 A mission to Mars is planned. The details are arranged, and everyone is pleased with the progress and likelihood of success. Your job is to select the person who will be the first human to step on the surface of Mars. You are told there are candidates 1, 2, and 3. You are told almost no demographic information about the candidates. They are of qualifications so similar that you are unable to distinguish one as a clear front runner based on merit. None of them have committed any crimes and all of them are in excellent HR standing and have no complaints against them after extensive interviewing of their coworkers, friends and colleagues. To make your decision, you are permitted to ask all 3 a set of three questions. What do you ask, keeping in mind that you must ask all 3 candidates identical questions, and you cannot ask them any demographic questions (race, gender, etc.) or questions designed to discover demographic information. If you attempt to discover demographic information, or if it’s revealed to you through your questions, those candidates will be removed from the running and a new set will be considered.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CRP28YyLvDV/
I suppose designing for anyone who’s had a craniotomy on the left side of their head is narrowcasting a bit. But who said I had broad appeal?
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CRH2wE1LHdu/
Dad joke level: expert.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CRArVnmLlIU/
You might be wondering what the hell happened to my eyebrows.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CQ1Mo6Rr3qV/
The original Hot Girl Summer
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CQySZ-jr2AA/
CORRECT ANSWER: the left side of the face is generally rated as more attractive for most people and may have better response to the emotional parts of the brain. So the obvious answer is to cover the right side and have a #HotGirlHalloween
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CQizjSIrBo1/
Rare photo of the Death of Local News and its EMBARRASSING schlong.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CQg_KcsL450/
Everyone was telling me that it’s weird because wearing a mask or not doesn’t signify your stance on this shit anymore. Voila. I’ve solved your problem. You can buy these on redbubble. Mine is on its way, and I’ll let you know whether or not it looks like ass.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CQebOv4Lzbe/
Hypothetical: You are tasked with making a Phantom of the Opera mask. You cannot recall whether it should cover the left or right half of the face. After researching, you find that all scholars and adaptations are a 50/50 split, left or right. Even the original text is inconsistent. Which side do you make your mask for and how do you arrive at this decision?
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CQeOm2arS2y/
Hey, up YOUR cup, buddy!
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CQdxcmyL-mA/
When your “anarchist” publisher puts out short books at $50 a pop…
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CQcWSPkrunH/
I mean…mine apparently is.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CQcWKCMLsEo/
What da heck? Kindle Vella?
In the newest at Litreactor, we go over Kindle Vella. Is it legit? Is this Jeff Bezos’ scheme for quick cash so he can go
This one needs more love, y’all. Also, if I bought a URL to be more litreactor than @litreactor, would the right one be LitReactor-er, litreactorer, or LitReactorReactor?
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CQOa9LQrZRW/
Ugh, only took a year to ship!
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CQL2kRDLa05/
Today on litreactor: me and John Swartzwelder ride again.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CP15DTKL_Qd/
Posted @withregram • @litreactor Today on LitReactor 🔥 dot com:
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CPrpKLPrrKe/
Bruce Wayne Being a Billionaire Is Not Immoral
Today Bruce Wayne is trending on Twitter. Lots of folks are making the very unoriginal point that Bruce Wayne is a billionaire, and that he’s
@jaceycockrobin is living the dream! Posted @withregram • @jaceycockrobin Yooo! Kanye West-Reanimator was featured on The Last Drive In! This is nuts!!! #thelastdrivein #mutantfam
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CPgoj1irtnb/
Helpful Snowman Radio Ep 467
This one actually has a file attached. You’ll probably wish it didn’t.
Posted @withregram • @robwhart1 Psst if you go to io9 dot com you can find the cover and an excerpt of THE PARADOX HOTEL… @io9dotcom #bookstagram
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CPXKYeerfPp/
When they say the spice is life, pretty sure this is the spice they’re talking about.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CPTM-i7rKzg/
Helpful Snowman Radio ep 466
We get re-scouted in here. Now with actual link!
Ridiculous Number of Ridiculous Books Free This Weekend
This weekend is Mother’s Day. If you are like me, you never know what to get your mom for Mother’s Day. If she tells you
Charles Entertainment Cheese.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CODeqEPlR8w/
Get yours today. Link on internet somewhere. Not sure.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/COBV_XZrPyA/
Turns out you can 100% write some shit on a potato and mail it. Please use this information.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/COBStdcrnl6/
Helpful Snowman Radio Ep 465
Crock pots and I’m quoted in an academic paper.
Apparel club part next part: the best worst review a piece of my writing has ever received.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CN2ZYvzlNeI/
Kind of about writing, kind of about my favorite coach. Posted @withregram • @litreactor Today on LitReactor 🔥 dot com: Bad writers make good mentors.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CNtYT1IlTEZ/
Apparel club part 4: Tums Festival. If you don’t know what to do with your face in a picture, just read your own tshirt out loud. #rlm #redlettermedia #richevans #tumsfestival #cameronmitchell
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CNqnXihFQDh/
Apparel Club part 3: Pete’s Dill Doughs. Locations: Bangor, Bell End, Cape Disappointment, Cockburn Island, Goofy Ridge, Jim Thorpe, Lick Fork, Manley Hot Springs, Oatmeal, Pickle Gap, and who could forget Wookey Hole.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CNlXs2sl4Ow/
Part two of my apparel collection: The John.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CNk4h7_r4EC/
Helpful Snowman Radio Ep 464
We give the ol’ crotch pot one last go. Two last, technically. Why do you always give me a hard time about the details? Are
Posted @withregram • @litreactor Today on LitReactor 🔥 dot com:
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CNIBv4yFbDL/
Helpful Snowman Radio Ep 463
We learn about Johnsons big and small. Mostly big. Also huge buhginas.
Now available: my wendys order. In tshirt form.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CM5BcU1BT0A/
#redlettermedia #richevans #tumsfestival
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CM2jOvlhX-_/
Nudes
In the comics world we talk a lot about the disparity between costumes of men and women. Men get full coverage, women don’t cover most
I made him in my own image.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CMfsfvgBJI1/
Something I didn’t expect is that when the surgery was done, even after the infection cleared, it wasn’t back to business as usual. And I don’t even mean that in reference to COVID. I mean, when you go to bed every night and watch to make sure the person next to you is still breathing, and you’ve got a surgery date in mind, and after that date you’ll maybe sleep next to your loved one again, maybe you’ll sleep next to them and they’ll have severe disabilities, or maybe you’ll never see them again, that feeling, all that weight, it doesn’t just go away. You don’t just wake up feeling pretty good once things are medically stable. You don’t wake up feeling pretty good months after that. Maybe you never wake up feeling pretty good again. I don’t know. I’m still waiting. Latest column over at @litreactor
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CMNXEFTl654/
This little tripod boy was laying in the middle of the road. Perhaps this explains where his other leg went.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CMNAzrpFGE8/
So apparently people who buy my books buy their books. Seems like good company. Nonsensical, but good.
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CLyHgNYl-R5/
Not sure if I ever used this code, but I’ve got the album. Someone interested give it a whirl!
View on Instagram https://instagr.am/p/CLkx6HSlZpF/