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“Leprechaun 2 has most of the charms of the first, just not quite as much. I guess there’s a little more lore or something, a

“This is an earlier work of an actor who would go on to be quite famous. I’m of course referring to Mark Holton, aka Francis

“Maybe this one is a little more like a Twilight Zone episode, pulled out like taffy to stretch to full length, but that taffy still

“This is one of those “learn nothing about it, do not google it, just go watch it” movies. Just great stuff. A totally underrated Stephen

“I’ve never felt so empty as I did after this movie showed me 1. I have nothing of value high enough that a panic room

“This might be a good political ad, kind of like the ones I’ve been seeing around here (Colorado) about legalizing hallucinogens. The ad is all

“Here’s a review I wrote for a library newsletter. Enjoy! Let’s say I told you that your library card is a wish-granting device. Not in

“Well… I have complicated, mixed feelings about this one. On one hand, like Get Out, I appreciated the movie that was a bonkers-as-hell horror flick.

“The movie that answers the question: is it worse to cast supermodels or professional athletes?  The answer is complicated.  You want to watch a movie

“This is an ex’s favorite movie, so I’m morally obligated to give it no more than 3 stars.”

“I’m not sure if this meets the technical definition of movie and I kinda loved it.”

“Any movie that has the guts to brutally skeletonize a child is an A+ for me.”

“This movie, like The Goonies, is one I would like to go back in time and show myself when it came out. Because I don’t

“I think this one…felt like we could’ve lengthened the first two by half an hour each and got all this in within two fairly long

“Gandalf really needs to learn how to delegate tasks so he’s not always leaving everyone and being all, “Sorry, bros, I know you’re about to

“I’m a cat person, but… There’s this line from the description: “the most mysterious and beloved animal humans have ever known” This is why punctuation

“Just rewatched this last night. Let’s talk about the biggest holes in this movie, which aren’t very big. 1. Why is Lindsay Lohan introduced to

“This was the last movie I saw in theaters, just before lockdowns in 2020. It’s now August 2022, and I still have no plans to

“There’s a problem with this type of movie that’s not Creep’s to solve, but it remains unsolved: When I’m watching a movie called Creep about

“Starts with a great premise: What if the gold rush happened in space? And then it takes that question and says: “It’d be exactly the

“You know what drives me nuts about this movie? “Women are so tough, she births a baby IN TOTAL SILENCE.” You all know this movie

“Imagine you could maximize your brain’s potential. Why are people so into that? Wouldn’t, like, 5% more be pretty good? Also, maybe brains are like

“I watched this while catsitting for a cat I truly loved. She passed away. Did her demise and this movie have any relation? Absolutely not.

“Jason Statham plays a character named Lee Christmas. We’ve got Christmas Jones in James Bond. Lloyd Christmas in Dumb & Dumber. Using a name search

“The Sega Genesis game was a B+. This is my system for rating movies that have been rated and viewed plenty already. At least I

“In the theater, when Adrien Brody came out topless, there was a noticeable titter that rolled through the audience. The guy was ripped, but it

“What if we made a movie, but like, it’s not your dad’s Day of the Dead!? Nick Cannon is no Joe Pilato. Or Mena Suvari

“Can people stop saying this movie is prescient? Like it invented the concept of rich people and poor people? “It’s more relevant now than ever!”

“…if they’d moved this over one franchise to the left, released it as Land of the Dead instead, everyone would be a lot happier in

“I give this 5 stars even though it spawned an NES game that forces you to kill a bunch of dogs on the first level,

“This is my go-to for horror that’s genuinely great and generally underappreciated.”

“Watching this movie in your 20s: Oh, his life is so empty and sad. Watching this movie in your 40s: That looks quite peaceful.”

“I give this movie 5 stars because Halle Berry is topless and for no other reason. I have no defense for this and will make

“Titanic proved you could make a movie where the overall ending was already well-known, and it could still work? How? How, you might ask, can

“My favorite review of this film I’ve ever heard: What a thoughtful movie.”

“I don’t understand how this movie is so boring when Kal Penn beats up Superman on a Kryptonite island. Parker Posey is the real hero

“This goes in the pile of movies I’ll call “gave it a shot because a girlfriend liked it, and now when I’m single and sad

“Pretty stupid, but not as stupid as Next, which is stupid enough to be great and should definitely be watched over this one.”

“I do give Human Centipede all the credit in the world, it DID create an entire new genre of jokes that can be understood by

“I rarely say this when I watch a horror movie, but I’m like 90% sure I could take on a puppet, even if it had

“For starts, too much plot on this movie. I don’t think I fully understand what happened, and I tried rewinding to catch what I must’ve

“In the end this one turns into an R-rated Stay Tuned, which I’m into. I don’t know that this is one of Wes Craven’s Hidden

“There are bad movies that you know are enjoyable because they’re bad. There are bad movies that you know are bad and that you shouldn’t

“When I entered the theater to see this one solo, there was only one other guy in there. He started chatting with me about the

“I saw a lot of movies in the theater more than once at this time. I went and saw Payback, and I brought in a

“I saw The Mummy. Two weeks later, I saw Episode 1. I…did not care for it, and my hopes were sky high. I LOVED Star

“I had an English teacher in college who was totally in love with this movie and kind of ruined it for everyone. He HATED Gary

“I saw this twice in theaters AND read the novelization of this movie. Here’s how it happened. I would’ve been about 15 when this came

“When you find out this movie is a remake of one about a deaf/mute hitman, it makes more sense. You can see the wheels turning. 

“I do give this movie credit for killing a child pretty unceremoniously. I guess only a certain kind of reviewer would see that as a

“I think someone thought of the title, thought it sounded creepy, made it into a movie, and on day one of shooting was like, Holy

“Unfortunately, nazi zombies are actually less of a problem than alive nazis. Less of a threat I should say.  I feel like nazi zombies sounds

“My contribution to the world of cinema should probably be creating a database of when you want to be peak drunk during a movie.  For

“Who did those music stings and why? I just got this vibe of tryhard quirkiness off this movie that I couldn’t shake. Like someone analyzed

“Did anyone else get those weird viral ads for Kurt Russell destroying a priceless guitar accidentally while filming this? I can’t bring myself to click

“I think CG hurt Tim Burton. His style was so unique, but it lost its charm when the objects weren’t really there anymore. Having weird

“I saw this in 3D with my ex and her nephew. Half way through the movie he started screwing around with his 3D glasses and

“I’m going to admit I enjoyed this more than I enjoy the actual movies profiled. If you’re a film person who is bored by Friday

“Kind of like a greatest hits album for Freddy. “

“My biggest disappointment of Cagemas 2021, the holiday where we watched 12 Nicolas Cage movies, which turned into 14 because why not? This movie was

“People seemed to dislike this one the way they seem to dislike oscar bait movies. Which is sort of our own fault. Certain sorts of

“Didn’t connect up with Danny Boyle’s Men as neatly as I thought it would.”

“I could not stop saying Alien co-vin-ent like it was made by the American Movie guys.”

“This movie is totally awesome until the franchise steamroller comes in and makes it into something else at the end. But still, John Goodman is

“Less fun than Gone in 60 Seconds, Less gritty than Drive, I don’t know, it’s the Guy Who’s Good At Driving For Crime Stuff movie

“It’s a total banger from start to finish and the kind of movie Quentin Tarantino and Rob Zombie WISH they could make.”

“The book is better. Yes, I know the book has an orgy in the sewer. Still.”

“Why is the military always studying things? If they were good at studying, duh, they wouldn’t be in the military. “

“Release the Whatever Those Dudes’ Names Are cut. Oh, also, when you tell me Lando is gay or bi or something, I expect at least

“Starts with promise, like most pool parties. Ends with everyone (including the filmmakers) stuck in a situation and no idea what to do now that

“I just hope movies like this and The Descent will encourage people to make good decisions when they go into nature. Maybe the parks department

“Needs more gore. Sorry, but y’all, this is a movie about parents going ape and killing their own kids, and it’s bonkers, and the audience

“I give this movie points for trying to work out a way to make it logical that there could be an entire island that we

“I think this movie falls down near the end when it devolves into a pointless and not-too-pretty-to-look-at slugfest between the fleshed-out wireframes of our two

“The book is better than the movie. If I were a motivated individual, I would create an account here that reviews every single book-based movie

“When I was a kid and we were on vacation, I somehow won a shitload of tickets at an arcade, and I used them to

“Team America did it second and did it worse.”

“Why my mom would’ve rented this for me and a group of kids to watch at a Halloween party when we were…like 7 is kind

“I clearly missed a lot of Chucky lore somewhere along the line. There should probably be a rule with horror franchises: If you have to

“This, like The Social Network, is a great example of hard work making fairly boring subject matter into a pretty damn good movie. I haven’t

“Here’s where I’ll say one thing I dislike about this one, and then we can talk about other stuff. The slow motion chase. Okay, this

“My favorite thing about The Lodge is that I’m able to bestow upon it the coveted “Worst Dad In a Horror Movie” award. Now, this

“I’m not sure how long it’s been since you all watched a PM movie, but I think it’s been a bit too long if your

“Alright, you got your Grits and your Goofs.  Your Grits are movies that should be grittier in a remake. Evil Dead worked, for example. Your

“I know it sounds crazy, but it’s 5 stars because it features my hometown as a location VERY briefly.  Okay, it’s in name alone. It

“If I ever have kids I’ll show them this movie when they complain I’m embarrassing them.”

“This is good and all, but I gotta be honest, I’ve found out I’m a comic book nerd, less a comic book movie nerd.  This

“This is a great example of movies that would’ve shined at 90 minutes getting a little much around 2 hours.”

“Okay, colorblind casting is all good, and far from the least believable thing in this movie. But I would like some kind of an indicator

“Movie is a great metaphor for life as we’ve all traded the arcade for the Internet, and while we haven’t suffered mightily, we lost something.”

“Really more the Heckboy of the series.”

“I’m game for just about anything happening in space. Probably because nobody can hear you scream there, which is great because I scream a lot.

“I get that a lot of people feel this is very brave on a human sexuality front, and I think they forgot that this show

“I would be frustrated as a filmmaker if I made this and saw it was a 3.9 on here. I mean, what do I have

“This is where me and the film nerds part ways.  It’s been fun. You all are okay. I just we just can’t keep doing this.”

“Basically Goosebumps without a title song by Jack Black.”

“The most-read thing I’ve created is this explanation of the sewer orgy from the book. Enjoy?“

“I just read David Sedaris’ newest book, and in it, at his dad’s nursing home, the staff thinks he’s the famous David.  By which they

“People who are shocked by this should watch Taxi starring Queen Latifah. Or maybe it’s Taxi Driver.  I don’t know, just watch both and maybe

“A little box should pop up at the bottom of the screen every 15 minutes, and in the box is the text “I Get It.”