Stop using the word Amazing. Especially when it’s said like, “Uhhh-maaayy-zing.”
Enough.
Here are some things that I’ve heard referred to as amazing:
-Sandwiches: These are not amazing. Ever. They are a bunch of shit slapped together in a stack. They can be delicious, or fulfilling. If you are amazed by a sandwich, ride a fucking airplane. You’ll shit.
-Your Family Around the Holidays: Don’t they deserve a little more work than Amazing? The answer is either yes or no, and either way…
Here are things that can be referred to as amazing during the next six months:
-Spider-Man
-The fact that you can take a picture of a check and have it deposited in your bank account.
-Anything that lives deeper than 4,000 meters in the sea.
After six months, if everyone can behave, we’ll try it again on a trial basis.