“Can we talk about that San Junipero episode of Black Mirror now? Can I head up the reexamination of that as a total piece of shit?
[okay, I was putting laundry in the dryer in the middle of this review, and I thought about the Human Torch, the android one, and he gets a new body, and he talks about how much that sucks, and that got me thinking that I’d happily take a Stark-designed body, and that’s gotta be better than having NO body, like in San Junipero where you’re just data. That’s the tour of my brain, folks]
I couldn’t fucking believe everyone loved it so much.
I get that the story of female friendship/romance and all that was appealing, but let’s talk about why this doesn’t work.
1. There is no bad option
Our protagonist has to decide whether to pass on or go into the virtual world. Going into the virtual world is without problem. Passing on is an unknown, which one could argue is or is not a problem as what is in the beyond is unknown. So, it’s a show where we watch the drama unfolds as a woman picks between two great options. The only drawback to staying in San Junipero is that our protagonist won’t move to the great beyond, where perhaps she’ll be reunited with her husband and daughter. There is no other negative aspect about being there. It’s not like you have to re-live the worst moment of your life over and over, or like it’s a secret virtual mind prison or something. It’s EXACTLY like real life except better in every possible way other than it not technically being real life.
2. It’s not a forever decision
She could get out of San Junipero and “die” for real if that’s what she decided down the road. That’s my understanding, anyway. The impermanence means that the obvious correct choice is to stay in San Junipero, at least for some time, and then die if she chooses. Or, to put it another way, the obvious choice is “both,” which means there’s no story here.
Ways to Fix The Story
What If? San Junipero is populated by people who are dead as well as people who are alive. What if there is a clear division, self-imposed, between these peoples? What if people who still have lives outside the virtual environment are seen as different, or if the people who are exclusively residents of SJ are basically seen as ghosts? What if our protagonists hide their status until a pivotal moment? What does it mean to be in love with someone who is no longer alive?
What If? San Junipero, basically being virtual heaven, tends to make things align to the individual’s preferences? Therefore, how would you ever know whether the other people in SJ are real or just creations meant to please you?
What If? Those who died the traditional way start appearing in SJ? What would this potentially mean about the afterlife?
What If? Our hero discovers, through other visitors to SJ, that she died and was placed in SJ against her wishes, and there is no known escape?
What If? Hitler is alive in SJ?
And once we hit Hitler, it’s time to close.”