I went through a time like that. Let me tell you a long personal story where the circumstances are completely different, the cast of characters is not at all analogous to your situation, and the ending just sort of works out and doesn’t really offer any kind of information on how to change your own situation.
You need to stop trying to meet women in bars. Women in bars have similar interests to yours, such as drinking, being out late at night, casual sex, and short tumultuous relationships that end with minor violence. Instead, try meeting a girl somewhere like church, which ensures that you will have absolutely nothing in common and means that even the simple fact of you meeting is predicated on a lie. Or maybe a gym, which is a place that I feel really good about how I look and am dressed, and also, in my experience, is a place where women really like being hit on clumsily. The moment you’re talking to a girl while she does the leg machine and you drip a drop of sweat on her arm, you’re in.
Here’s what you need man. You just need something low-key. Something not too stressful to get back into the swing of things. You just need a gorgeous, smart, funny, easy-going girl who is really into you, has no real hang-ups of her own.
You know, I work with a girl you might be interested in getting something going. She’s a little off-putting at first, but once you break through that tough exterior you get to a very aggressive, angry underbelly. You guys have very little in common, but maybe it would be fun to go on a double-date so that you can really struggle with getting to know her through a proxy and then compare yourself to a happy couple who has been together for so long that they are finishing each other’s sentences, smiling occasionally unprompted, and going home together while you and this stranger go to your separate cars, unsure of whether or not you will call or even want to.
Don’t worry, man. Keep your chin up. When you stop looking is when you’ll find what you’re looking for. I know it’s impossible to do, like saying don’t think about the color blue, but do your best.