Dear Snowman,
Tell me your opinion on this book idea!? Okay, so this is what I’ve got so far for an idea for an anime-out of this world book i’ve started: Kairo is a 15 year old girl who has got a human/fox for a father, and used to have a human/vampire mother until she died. Basically, she is half human, half fox vampire. Her father has enrolled her in a middle school after her life so far in a secret/hidden all vampire school because her dad believes she deserves to fit in instead of being left out all the time because she is only a quarter vampire. So the middle school she is being transfered to is all humans, which is a horror to her, mainly because she has fox ears and fangs and has to drink blood every so often. Humans just arent used to that kind of stuff lol. Well, anyways, a few months back Kairo’s father discovered a wine (he figures it is blood from some kind of god) that somehow made her fox ears disapear, but not 24/7. Every so often (about once every 2-3 weeks) her fox ears are forced to grow back, even if the red wine is digested. Kairo’s hair is the colour of a red fox (gold/red/brown or whatever) and her eyes are pale green. Since she is also quarter vampire she must drink blood every several days or she will die, which she also must keep a secret along with her ears and fangs. So i haven’t got very far at all (only about half a page haha i just started) but shes going to be considered weird by the girls in her class because Kairo is a boy name, but the boys are going to find her attractive, alot even asking her out. But the one boy that she feels oddly strange around is the tall, quiet boy who sits in the back of the class room. Annnd yep thats all ive got. and im NOT i repeat NOTTT having anything to do with twilight in this, the vampire idea was from something else. So lets hear some feedback! Be honest if you think its stupid! š š š
-Sajic
Dear Sajic,
First off, lose the name. A little too ethnic, kay?
As far as the novel goes, I think I can give you a pretty good opinion seeing as I just read the whole goddamn thing. I have some questions first. Is Kairo a half human, half fox vampire or is she half human, one quarter fox, one quarter vampire? These are really important details because the science behind this stuff is extremely important, especially when weāre talking about the audience for vampire fiction.
I agree that itās good to take the real life issues of fitting in and presenting them in a fictional way. I think it makes it more relatable. And it would totally be weird if a half fox vampire human was in my class and her name was Kairo because EVERYBODY knows that name that sounds completely made up andĀ is a boy name. What a bunch of jerks her parents must be. As if it isnāt hard enough.
At some point are we going to discuss who banged a fox? That feels like need-to-know information. When I see a hippo man, I always want to know who did what. Also, Iām a little uncomfortable with the idea of minors drinking. Killing humans is one thing, but drinking booze isnāt too family-friendly.
The only thing you really need at this point is a catchy title. Here are some really good suggestions:
-Foxy Lady
-Foxblood
-Starfox 64 –
Foxington: The hot vampire babe with weird problems with wine and blood.
My suggestion would be to reduce your number of cats, loosen the four hundred buckles on your baggy black pants, and put your nose to a grindstone and get rid of your head.
Ā Best,
Snowman
Dear Snowman,
How should I express gratitude toward my friend who saved my life?
We were walking down the road & this drunk driver jumped the curve. My friend pushed me out of the way & he was hit by the car. God I never freaked out more than that in my entire life….. Anyways I’m so worried about my friend. He’s in the hospital now recovering. I really appreciate our friendship now as I realize he’s my best friend. What can I do to make it up?
Please don’t say sex.
-hrt
Dear hrt,
You are a totally shitty friend. You couldnāt even throw the dude a handie? Seriously, he saved your life and you want to repay him in a nonsexual way? What kind of suggestion are you expecting, mylar balloons in the shape of a dinosaur with a cast on his leg that says āGet well before the cretaceous?ā
Look, if you canāt be bothered to have sex with the dude after he saved your life, my guess is that this guy isnāt up for ANY sex anytime soon.Ā Because if you canāt get life-saver sex, you donāt have a lot of roads open to you. You probably should have let the car hit him, but since you didnāt you should at least try to set him up with an unattractive but easy friend who obviously doesnāt have the overblown sense of worth that you have as a girl who wouldnāt have sex with a āfriendā to save her life.
Who are you going to fuck, exactly, if not a guy who saved your life? A guy with a cocked hat?
OR, you could grow the fuck up, accept that sex is putting a penis inside a vagina (or ass or mouth or between breasts or docked inside a foreskin…), realize that your sex is no more special than barnyard animal sex, and throw the guy a BJ, or for the love of god, a naked picture that he can at least spank too when he’s 32 and has horrible joint problems because he SAVED YOUR FUCKING LIFE.
Best,
Snowman
Dear Snowman,
How do I solve the equation X+1/2X=$1725?
Algebra homework
-Lee
Ā Dear Lee,
Ah, thatās a classic one. My technique was to change my schedule so I was always sitting next to Brandon McFadden. He seemed to be pretty good at math. I suggest you find him, or barring that, a reasonable substitute.
Best,
Snowman
Dear Snowman,
How good is the Atlanta Ballet? I’ve started planning my traveling around ballet, when possible. I have a friend who lives there, and I want to see The Sleeping Beauty in February. I’m just wondering what I can expect.
-Lovinā Life
Dear Lovinā,
How good is the Atlanta Ballet? If you even have to ask, I doubt youāre ready for the awesomeness that is the Atlanta Ballet. And Iāll tell you, nothing breeds skinny Eastern European ballerinas like a place that specializes in serving fried chicken with waffles. But just so youāre not surprised, Iāll tell you what to expect.
There will be some dumb outfits that are very tight. There will be a very visible manās package that makes you a little uncomfortable, but before too long just becomes another set piece you donāt even notice anymore.
Best,
Snowman
Dear Snowman,
Can my orchestra teacher do that? i just started 8th grade. i m in orchestra. there are 4 levels of it(4 is best). i was in 3 last year, and in the end of the year we all auditioned to get in level 4. i didn’t make it, and the orchestra teacher said that if i improve in the beginning of the next school year, he can out me in level 4. so school starts, i go to my orchestra class and on the first day we didn’t even touch the instruments. i ask my teacher if i could maybe audition again, but then he said level 4 is full(what does full mean anyway???). so i was just gonna live with it. but then my friend(she’s in level 4) tells me she saw a girl that was in level 3 with me last year was auditioning for level 4. i m mad. i know there is a chance my friend saw something eles instead, but is the orchestra allowed to do that? letting 1 student audition but not the other? oh, and, not to brag, but i am better than a couple of the people that made it into level 4.
-Crunch-e
Dear Crunch-e,
Aw, sweetie. Donāt worry. Itās not possible to brag about 8th grade orchestra.
And yes, your orchestra teacher can do whatever he wants. You know why? Because eighth grade don’t mean shit. Let’s face it, he’s a grown-up and knows more than you. He knows that you’re only going to embarrass yourself by trying out for 4. I’ve read your letters. You’re no 4. So instead of sitting at the dinner table and boring your parents, or more likely “parent” as it seems highly unlikely that you’ve got two, how about you pick something that might actually have a future with, like putting up pictures of cool people in your locker and smoking.
Best,
Snowman
Dear Snowman,
Why are labels such as “quiet”and Stupid” dangourous to use, please give examples why? I have so far , it lowers childrens self esteem but i need more ideas. Why are labels such as “quiet” and Stupid dangourous to use when it comes to children, Can you please give me some examples of why they are not good to use! Thanks
Ā -Michaela White
Dear Mrs. White,
Appropriate name because I can’t think of a whiter question. Why are they dangourous to use? Because they effect your fucking brain, and they’re almost as dangourous as druhgs and alcohall.
If I had to guess, I would guess that of the two words above, you are often tempted to use “stupid” in reference to your own child. In a cruel inverse proportion of nature, I somehow also doubt that your child is quietly stupid, so maybe don’t work on the volume so much.
Overall, the dangour is probably less in using the word than it is in having a mom who consults an online advice free-for-all gangbang to figure out how to raise a human child. Some words that I suggest you start using around you child are foster care, depoprovera, and disappointment.
Best,
Snowman
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