Ok, dude, so, I have no need for a chair right now. I really don’t. Mostly because I’m more in to dating short women as opposed to giants, thus I spend a lot of time standing rather than sitting. BUT, I am constantly having to stop myself from running out to my Jeep and jumping in for the drive to Greeley to get this magnificent chair of yours, because I truly laughed out loud at your ad. Goddamn that was funny. I wish you luck in getting rid of your chair, faithful companion that it’s been. Thanks for the awesome read.
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Just gotta say…one of the most hilarious ads I’ve seen on craigslist…if I had a place for the chair, I’d take it myself. You’ve got a career in sales…LOL!
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…that chair matches a couch I have. I have that exact same unicorn statue also. I was going to put it on the couch and take a picture for you, but my daughter has it somewhere amongst her dolls, as it’s a current favorite. The couch is great, as it’s seven feet long and I, being a giant can take a nap on it. I will say that I’ve never broken up with someone while they’ve been sitting and I standing. Wouldn’t be fair. And I’ve never moved furniture around on them after.
Patti
ps, although I’d like the chair, I live in Wellington and it’s a long way to Greeley. If NOBODY will give that gem a home please let me know and I’ll rescue it. I have the couch in the kid’s play room, because, as you know, you just can’t destroy them.
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Hey there, my name is Zach. I just saw your add for the free chair on Craigslist. I’m very much interested in that chair. I can pick it up any time tomorrow. I think it’d make a great addition to my room. If I’m the first person to email you about it, please give me a call whenever you can and I can stop on by. *********. If I don’t answer my phone, leave me a voicemail. (I usually dont’ wake up until the afternoon) By the way, I love the description of the chair which is what helped me decide I want this chair ha ha. Hope to hear from you.
-Zach
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Great posting!!! Haha!!!!!
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Hey,
Don’t really want the chair at all, but had to complement you on the chair’s ad. Fantastic! The pic w/the almost-porn was funny!
Good luck!
jen
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I think that chair has spoken to me, and if not the chair then your ad did the trick. Where might this chair be now? and would it fit in the back of a 3door Ford Focus?
~Justin
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More than anything, I would like to point out that this is the most praise I have received for any single piece of writing. Also, I still have the goddamn chair.
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Original Ad:
We all come to a time in our lives when the chairs that look like they were used by the dad in the Wonder Years and have been sitting in the kitchen for some reason need to go because your friend is giving you a cool table with rad retro stools. You have the stools already, but you have to get rid of the chair before the table arrives. We’ve all been there.
This chair has some really great qualities. It seems to be level. It’s a color that can’t be described and therefore does not clash with anything. It may not even be a color on the visible spectrum.
This chair has been sitting next to my kitchen trash (see picture below) but it would look good in a lot of places. Like maybe ina basement where a teen lives that has a weird Supreme Pizza odor because he’s down there gaming all the time. Or it might look good completely rebuilt and recovered and put in a room where people are. Or it might be perfect on the curb in front of your house, waiting for a garbage man nicer than mine who probably figures that trash is trash and doesn’t get all uptight about furniture in the garbage.
This chair has been very lucky for me. I’ve never spotted a spider on the ceiling while sitting in this chair. I’ve never been broken up with while in this chair, a claim I cannot make about ALL the chairs out there. I’ve never died in this chair, which is awesome too.
Have you ever been broken up with while you’re sitting in a chair? It’s awful. Especially if the other person is standing. It’s like they’re giant. The effect is amplified if your girlfriend is actually a giant, which mine was. I have lots of tips for dating giants. One of them is to make sure that you have all your furniture where you want it before the break-up, because giants are sooooo strong. The other piece of advice is to be careful which chair you’re in when your giant breaks up with you. Also, don’t watch that Billy Crystal movie with the giant guy for at least three months afterwards, even if you’re used to watching it all the time. It’s just too painful.
But anyway, back to the chair. I included some pics to help you see the possibilities. There’s the one with it next to the garbage. There’s the one with the unicorn. That’s something, huh? And how about that rose? Where’s the chair, you ask? Why, it’s right there, HOLDING UP the rose. I know, it looked very classy and not like itself. And how about that one with the hot babe sitting in the chair, huh? There could be a hot babe sitting in it at your place, too. You never know. Stranger things have happened. Not many, but I think that whole Lord of the Rings thing was pretty weird, pretty up there. I think you’re more likely to have a hot babe sit in your chair than you are to have an adventure with goblins.
If you’re interested in the chair, please email. I feel like if you made a Venn diagram of people who have the ability to email in one circle and people interested in the chair in the other circle, the two circles would probably be about 400 miles apart. But prove me wrong, friend. Prove me wrong.
- Location: Greeley
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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