“After I used a bottle to decapitate a beetle that was running across the floor, I was thinking about…”
“I was using a toenail clipping to do a scratcher, and after I didn’t win any cash…”
“While I was eating a big bowl of Cocoa Puffs on the toilet…”
“After I finished going through my porn collection and deleting all the files involving women who have died since last year…”
“Before the buzz from all the bleach fumes and Listerine drinking wore off…”
“I finished slapping my son to sleep and then went ahead and…”
“It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes since I’d stopped crying…”