Uh, nice work. the only problem is, we are gonna have to unload SO MUCH Orange Crush. Nobody drinks that shit. Well, just donate it to a school or something. Or put the display outside and hope people steal it, like how we do with pumpkins and those dry corn stalks that only suckers pay for.
You can tell our store is doing really well because we can waste a hundred square feet of retail space on fake football men. No need for saleable items. Go football!
The irony is that if this display fell over on someone, they would probably be compensated for injuries.
Thank goodness for the grossest variety of Pepsi ever made being in a black box. Christ, Crystal Pepsi was better than this shit, warm.
Oh right, that time they shaved Donkey Kong and he played for the…Florida NFL’s?
You can buy everything in this display in this very store, including the chair AND the farts with which the chair is imbued.
Make sure them Rockstars are cold. I don’t give a fuck if the rest of this is cold, but that stuff, my god do people get pissed when their Rockstar is warm. I had a guy take out 5 Snus just to yell at me for that very thing.
Yes, that time the Jews almost ran out of Sprite. They were trapped, and they only had one can, which normally isn’t enough Sprite for 10 days, but Sprite is so thirst-quenching that the supply held. And that’s the story of the first Sprite-Sponsored Hanukkah.
Secondary option, run straight at the wall of boxes and hope for the sweet release of death.