Ah, the Southwest. Nothing like the desert slathered in green chili. But you know what’s really great about the southwest is all of the great scenery.
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As we all know, one important aspect of any road trip is buying some sweet snacks. I recommend anything that can be sat on and crunched into a million pieces or anything that can be effectively mashed into a carpet until it becomes one with the fabric (Flamin’ Hot Cheetos really work well according to some research I’ve seen being done on the gym locker room floor). But what the fuck is this? Toast already toasted? So this saves you the work of…toasting? I think I can manage to toast my own toast. And if not? Bread. I’ll just eat the bread.
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Now let’s talk for a minute about bathroom maintenance. I know that it might seem like a good idea to put down a bucket to catch leaks, but it’s really not a long-term solution. Consider this: By putting down a bucket behind the toilet you’ve transformed yourself into a resident of London at the turn of the Century, someone who dumps a bucket every time he takes a piss. Not wise.
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Rather than having the sink come out of the wall, why not throw some shitty stilts on it? That way it looks like it’s obeying our precious laws of physics. I now feel much more confident putting my elbows up on the edge of the sink so that I can hold my head in my hands and think about my life.
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Wow, this is practically a trip to the museum. I’ve never had so many questions answered about how a paper towel dispenser works. The real question is Who is the asshole who refilled this thing in this condition?
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How’s that for a sure sign that someone doesn’t plan on cleaning the pisser anytime soon? They couldn’t fit more urinal cakes in there if they tried. I’m not going to bore anyone with a physics lesson here, but the angles that pee comes spraying back are unpredictable and super unfortunate.
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How many times do we have to go over this as a society? People, when you have a soap dispenser, it needs to dispense over the goddamn sink. That way it doesn’t drip on the floor. You fucking assholes. It’s not even my bathroom and it still pisses me off.
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This bizarre contraption showed itself in not one, but two bathrooms. It’s a shoeshine station. I was very excited to see what it would do to Converse shoes, but the dollar-taker was broken. But where the fuck are you going that you need a shoe shine right now? That’s madness. Also, I’d like to send a big Fuck You to the stranger in the bathroom who saw me trying to start the machine and gave me a look like, Hey, you don’t need a shoe shine. You don’t know me.
I’m not a-feared of clowns, but this cake was especially creepy. Reclined like that, doesn’t it just look like he’s saying, Come on in this cake box and let’s fuck!
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