East of West, Vol. 4: Who Wants War? by Jonathan Hickman
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Here’s what’s weird about this volume. It includes a timeline and blurbs about the 7 nations, and I left MORE confused than when I started.
Look, this book plays with time and American history and all that, and that’s awesome. And I assumed that we were in the near future-ish, but honestly, it didn’t matter. What difference does it make if we’re in 1858 or 2086? Sure, WE didn’t have robodogs in 1858, but we also didn’t have a walking manifestation of the four horsemen either, nor did we have Native Americans who decided to renounce religion and work with machines only. What I’m saying is, almost NONE of this shit happened, so what difference does it make if some of the regular America stuff happened and then everything else went a different way?
Also, the story about this beast of the apocalypse is stretching a little thin.
So he’s this kid, which I think would engender sympathy except we’ve just watched 3 other kids tearing shit up all over the place in the previous volumes, and this kid breaks out of some kind of lab with his computer friend. Now, the computer is feeding false visual information to the kid, which is weird, and mostly I just keep thinking that the kid should probably just take the covers off his goddamn eyes. These little things over his eyes are feeding him visual information from the computer friend, but why not, I don’t know, just see what stuff looks like? That’s such a weird thing. If someone told me right now that unbeknownst to me I’d been wearing Google glass my entire life and could take them off, I’d probably take them off. Maybe the kid doesn’t know? Maybe it’s like a Matrix thing?
That was always a funny part of the Matrix. Remember when Joey Pants wants to get put back in? He has that whole analogy about steaks and shit? And as a viewer you’re supposed to be like, “Oh, what a jerk!” But I always felt like, “Eh, he’s not wrong. The world outside is pretty shitty. Plus, I might be mad at the computers for enslaving us, but at least they’ve provided this whole computer world. That’s kind of awesome and unnecessary.” Not to get too deep on the Matrix, but how different is it to go to a job and do work all day as opposed to being hooked up to a bunch of shit and providing energy? At least the energy people could think about whatever they wanted.
Although, hold the phone.
That whole human battery thing never made sense to me.
For example, I saw a headline saying that 2,000 calories a day could power a phone, so therefore, a human could power a phone.
But that excludes the energy that has to be put IN to a human. You can’t just use 2,000 calories a day on powering a phone. You’d have to put in the 2,000 calories of fuel that allow the body to continue functioning, PLUS the other cal that would be taken out. If your body is providing 2,000 of energy, plus powering itself, wouldn’t that mean we’d be talking a total energy use of 4,000 calories per day?
The difference between a person and a battery, as I understand it, is that a battery does lose some energy over time, but it doesn’t expend energy just to exist. Those double-A’s don’t have a heartbeat they have to keep going while they sit on the shelf. Also a soul and all that bullshit, but let’s not get caught up in churchy stuff.
What we’re REALLY saying is that we could equip a phone with a stomach and circulatory system, and then power it with a hot dog. I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going on.
Now, I’ve heard of biological tech that would allow us to reclaim SOME lost energy. For example, materials that could gather body heat and convert it into energy to power devices. So my chair gets equipped with this stuff, then my ass powers my house, and not in the way where “my ass keeps the lights on” means I’m prostituting myself.
But that’s still a loss, ultimately. We aren’t getting as much energy out of the body as we’re putting in, I would think. I have to eat the 2,000 calories, and 2,000 calories of usable energy wouldn’t result.
It all feels a little like the Flintstone car to me. They’re sitting in this car, pushing it down the road, and the reality is that it’s MORE WORK to push that goddamn car than it would be to just run everywhere. That’s like the least efficient car of all time.
Then we move up to bike. A bike means the human uses LESS power to create MORE force, which is why you can go further faster on a bike and not get AS sweaty. Maybe sweatier in the crotch. My crotch gets quite sweaty on a bike in the best of conditions. But a bike could potentially be a way for humans to generate more power than is required to keep them alive. A way to power shit that would result in a net gain, even when you consider the expenditure of the body at rest.
I guess this is my question here.
If you made a spaceship, and you could set up all the spaceship stuff to be powered by cyclists. And the cyclists rode, which powered everything on board, including technology to scrub oxygen and cultivate plant life, if you could do that, would the cyclists generate enough power to make it worthwhile? Or would their exertions mean that they were spending energy that they couldn’t make up for. Breathing checks their asses couldn’t cash, if you will.
Second question:
Why did they not have eyebrows when they came out of the Matrix battery pod thingies? Eyebrows are a no-go? That’ll wreck the whole plan?