At the end of our last chapter, our heroes Bill and Lance watched as Billy, the hero kid from another dimension, got blown up.
Bet you thought that was suspense like, “How will our heroes get out of this one?”
Nope. He’s fucking dead, for sure. He’s just a kid. A kid can’t get blown up on a bridge and just walk away. Try and be realistic, please.
Bill and Lance both watched Billy be blown into the air when the cool-looking science bridge exploded right underneath his feet and rocketed his flaming corpse high into the air. His charred form flipped end over end, and it managed to strike one of the flying ammunition pods the enemy used to re-arm troops. The pod burst, and out of it fell a spread gun and a laser.
Billy’s corpse continued, arcing upwards and away from the earth.
Lance nodded at Bill, and Bill nodded at Lance. They both knew they’d just seen something that was awesome, but awesome in a way where they couldn’t tell anyone else because they’d sound crazy. It would just have to be another battlefield secret between the two warriors.
The two men ran to the weapons and retrieved the alien hardware. Bill picked up one of the guns. It looked almost just like his, but when he pulled the trigger it sprayed bullets out in a spread pattern. The spread gun. It was just what Bill needed. He was a good soldier, but damn was he a lousy shot. He made up for it with smoking cigars and good one-liners like “That guy’s shot up worse than a heroin junkie” or “Eat shit, alien scum.” But damn, his marksmanship was so poor that in boot camp they just decided it was better to have him practice carrying way more ammo.
Lance picked up the other alien gun. It looked like a flamethrower, but it didn’t operate anything like the terrestrial flamethrower he was used to. No, this flamethrower shot a set of small fireballs in a looping pattern. Lance opened fire on some approaching bad guys, and the fireballs looped harmlessly around several of them.
“Shit!” he said. “This gun sucks.”
Bill turned and sprayed the approaching group with a single pull of the trigger. “You got the shit end of the stick. This thing is awesome!”
Bill and Lance ran towards the enemy base located in the jungle. The one a young boy from another dimension was supposed to help them take down. But it looked like they’d just have to do it without him. Rest in Peace, Billy.