First entry, IG-88.
Who the fuck is IG-88? Well, he’s a robot bounty hunter who’s in Star Wars for about three seconds.
I think George Lucas was the first person who ever said, Wait, let’s make sure we put a bunch of noticeable weirdos in the background. Because action figures.
Okay, so fair enough. I’ll play with some stupid Star Wars characters. Dash Rendar? Sign me up. CP3O’s that vary in sheen? Fine also.
But this, this piece of shit.
Here’s the thing. Let’s do a little action figure education.
Points of articulation are the places where an action figure moves. Maybe shoulder, elbow, hip, knees, ankles, waist, neck. That’s probably typical.
Ig88? He had 4. One on each arm. One on each leg. That’s fucking it.
How in the holy hell was this guy supposed to bounty hunt shit? Who is he gonna run down? How is he going to aim his weapon if the person runs to the side? He can’t side step, he can’t turn his waist.
Based on this action figure, I’m not even sure how this guy gets in a car.
Now, I know these figures weren’t famous for their articulation. Which is too bad. It’s not like it was very hard. GI Joe figured it out. Just make them all like GI Joe.
The worst part, the part that really pisses me off, I feel like they were making this figures and they were like, “Articulation? No, no, no. He’s a robot. He can be stiff as hell! It’s fine!”
And then I bought him.
On the plus, he had guns that he could barely hold and a bandolier I lost almost immediately.