Alright. January 1st. Ring in the new year with a classic, guy on top thing.
January 2nd. Let’s change it up. Lady on top.
January 3rd…oh, okay. Lady on top, but she’s facing the other way. That’s an easy one. Haha, humming right along here, RIGHT along.
January 4th. Hmm. Okay, okay. Not for me, but I’ve heard a lot about this doggie style. Is it doggie dogg style? No, just doggie. Probably.
January 5th. Wow. It’s a little like, how much sex do you need to have? Okay, here we go. Man holds up the lady, like holds her up off the ground. Not for the weak-armed, however. We might need a warning there. If you have weak arms, this probably won’t be very sexy. Also, how sexy this is depends on how sexy you feel it is to be really out of breath and tired.
January 6th. Woman…behind…the man! Oop, nope, nope. That’s not a way sex works. Shoot. Okay. We did the doggie thing? Alright. Here’s one: Like the girl on top one, but now you’re on the couch. Like sitting up.
January 7th. Like yesterday, but one of the people is watching TV.
January 8th. Now the other person is watching TV.
January 9th. Now they’re watching a different season of Seinfeld from the one they watched the last two days while they had sex.
January 10th. Just separately masturbate in your own areas.
January 11th. Okay. That pretty much does it. I mean, I’ve got more, but they get weird. Like shoving a saxophone up a lady or something.