In preparation for some openings, here are some things I cut through with my Grand Opening Machetes:
-1 watermelon
-1 ladder
-1 ladder that was leaned up against a house while some idiot was on his roof throwing down leaves from the gutter. What a waste of time. If you didn’t want to trap a bunch of leaves, what the fuck do you have the gutter for?
-1 slab fajita beef (multiple cuts)
-1 top hat, sideways cut so it was half as tall.
-1 unlicensed Sonic the Hedgehog pinata.
-1 unlicensed Spider-Man pinata.
-1 chain lock on a shed behind the grocery mart that turned out to be full of pinatas.
-1 Spongebob pinata, but where Spongebob is round.
I am very ready.