The plan is to improve myself by going through this book of 52 ways to improve myself. I’ll probably half-ass some of it and screw up the rest in a well-meaning way, but if just one of these things stick, I’m pretty much guaranteed to be a better man. Right?
People who know me know that I am pretty good about getting in the exercises. Yep, not usually a problem.
Okay, yes. Sometimes it’s a problem.
You know what sucks about exercise?
With everything else in life, or most things, the more you do them, the more efficient you get. When you first see a few episodes of some cooking shows, you go home and try that shit, and you’re worthless. Worse than worthless. But as your skills grow and you can focus more on the onions in the pan and less on what look is Alton Brown shooting for anyway, you can get faster.
With exercise, the more you do it, the more have to do. If you can run 3 miles in 15 minutes, well, then you’re ready to run more. Which takes longer.
You know what I REALLY like about exercise? When people devise these schemes to fit it into your day.
Some favorites:
Park the car really far, get that heart burning tar!
I MIGHT have made up the slogans here.
It is kind of funny. I mean, go to any gym, everyone is still fighting for the closest parking spot. To go inside and run on the treadmill. But let’s be serious. I think I’d have to be in pretty sorry shape for a 40-second walk to really matter, right? I mean, how bad off do you think I am?
If your waistline’s where you keep your cares, instead of lifts, just take the stairs!
These are hard to come up with.
I have come to a conclusion in life: There is no level of fitness that can prepare you adequately to climb 2 stories of stairs. There just isn’t. You handle it better, but it’s never easy. Every time a stairclimb is like losing all 5 sons in war: it never gets easy. Just less hard.
I made an effort to use a pedometer as well. Here were my steps:
1. Call it a “peh-dough-meter” and assume it measures pedophilic thoughts, 10,000/day being the optimum amount for health.
2. Laugh at hilarious joke, hopefully burn a few calories, eh?
I guess I’m feeling pretty good about the exercise part of my life. So, you know, if you suck at that, try and suck less at that. Or don’t. But skip the half-assed stuff.