If you want to act as good as me, as good as I did during my acting career (grades 8-8.75), all you have to do is follow these simple steps. Live the way I lived, act the way I acted!
-Replace all your furniture with tiny plastic chairs, many of which have an anarchy symbol scratched in the back.
-Memorize the first part of your piece really well, the the middle medium-well, then the end not at all. The first part of your piece is the most important. Impact!
-Make sure not to waste your time with encounters of the opposite sex. No matter how hard they come after you, how many tenths of one second a girl looks at you with annoyance after you loudly drop your math book on the floor, TURN HER DOWN. It’s time to act! In a play, not in the way of doing stuff.
-In order to maintain your figure, switch to the saccharine-y Hi-C Orange Punch at Wendy’s instead of Dr. Pepper. This is a totally significant and meaningful change.
-As a method to cut down on smoking, try riding your bike across town to share a Swisher Sweet with 4 other guys, then ride back. Do this as your only smoking.
-Don’t use drugs to expand your mind. DO watch your brother do drugs and then ask him about 1 billion questions about what it feels like and whether his mind is expanded.