Howdy Listeners!

I am proud to announce the commencement of Helpful Snowbowl 2013.

Yes, I’m aware it’s 2014. But we already have a logo for Helpful Snowbowl 2013, so there you have it.

This event will determine who the greatest listener of Helpful Snowman Radio really is. Much like an Olympics (of shittiness), there will be several events (of shittiness), and a winner will be picked by a very subjective and dumb system.

The way you enter is by letting me know you’re in and then showing up to record a show. Yes, you MUST record a podcast with me as your entry. Remote entries will not be accepted. You will show up at my horrible apartment and we will begin the testing.

What are the events, you’re asking?

One: Original Song

Your task is to create an original song for our show. It can be a theme song, a commercial, a remix, or just a song that you feel applies. You are welcome to conceive the song and perform it live on the show. If you’ve already submitted a song, you can count it as your entry.

Two: Commercial

Someone recently asked “How are you going to monetize this bitch?” Well, I had no idea. And then I had ONE idea! Your task is to bring an advertisement that we’ll read or play on the show. And it must earn the show some money.  Any amount is acceptable. No business is too small or too awful or too illegal. Whether the business actually bankrolls the ad or even knows about it, well, that’s up to you.

Three: Recommendation

As you sit at the table, we will hook up your phone and you will phone a friend or acquaintance or enemy and pitch Helpful Snowman Radio to this person live on the air. This needs to be someone who has no idea that this is going to happen.

Four: Dramatic Reading Of A Helpful Snowman Post

You will need to dig up an old post from the web site and do a dramatic reading of it. Feel free to put whatever stank on it you’d like. There are nearly 1,500 to choose from, so get off your ass.

Five: Topic

You will need to bring a topic, a story, or something that needs to be covered by our show. You don’t need to decide how it’s covered or what needs to be said, just to bring something that you feel would make for a good discussion aka yelling session.

Please note, if you have the material ready to go, email it to me before you arrive and I can have it ready. Otherwise, bring it with you, ready to roll.