Dad Jokes Answered

Hot enough for ya!?

No. Your innards would be melted and you would be physically unable to tell that joke. That would be hot enough to meet my current needs. Nothing less will do.

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That’s a lot of food! But, haha, what are THE REST OF YOU going to eat, huh!?

Nothing. Your humor, as always, will sustain us far better than food ever could.

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Well, if you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes!

Yes, indeed. Or I could just make an umbrella of your skin. Would that please you?

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This one doesn’t have a price tag. Guess it must be free, huh!?

You’re looking at serious jail time, old man. Do not fuck with me on this. You steal that set of bungee cords, you’re going down so fucking hard your mother will feel it in her uterus, her CRADLE OF LIFE will feel the pain of how hard you go down. So think it over, and think it over hard because, goddamn, you’re entering a pain bank where your ass has NO line of credit.