Let’s start with this little lady. Honestly, I didn’t ever get too terribly hard even though I’d be fondling this bottle during the real Danger Zone of morning wood time. I AM a bit surprised about something, though. You know how people always do that stuff where they make a real life Barbie to prove a point about how she isn’t realistic? Great potential similar experiment, sell a slightly bustier Butterworth in a few states and see if she outpaces her competitors. I’m not sure what point that proves, but I’m not really sure about the Barbie thing either. Barbie is out of proportion? What’s next, Dr. Dreadful not a real medical doctor?
Ah, now here’s a babe. Did you guys do this?
Let me explain something to you Pinterest crafters here.
In 1990 I was cutting butter boxes with an Xacto knife in order to move the Land O Lakes lady’s knees up to her chest, also cutting a flap so it looks like she was flashing. If you did it just right, she even had these little red spots on her knees that look like nipples.
Okay? Is that crafty enough for you? I spent 20 minutes to create one set of knee boobs the size of a baby’s thumbnail.
A little young for my liking. Somehow she also looked obnoxious. Although her snacks were delicious. I had this whole idea in my head of being her friend just for the endless access to snack cakes, barely tolerating the fact that she always wanted to do stuff like silently read Little House on the Prairie.
Things didn’t work out this way, but I’m 90% positive that the closest thing I had to an awakening to budding homosexuality was this fella. I found him strong, capable, and handsome. Now he’s a couple sideburns and a couple more inches of mustache extending down to his jawline away from being a hillbilly piece of shit. But in the 90’s, a young Pete had a man to call his own.
And Aunt Jemima. You know, based on the design, 3/4 profile, half-smile, I always sort of assumed she was married to Uncle Ben. Ben Jemima. It all makes sense.
