First Log:
This is cool. I’m like a goddamn mountain man.
Second Log:
This is way better than being a mountain man. I’m like Rocky Goddamn Balboa.
Third Log:
I don’t understand why they make trees out of stuff that’s so hard.
Fourth Log:
Should I be wearing some kind of eye protection?
Fifth Log:
Ow. Shit. Ow. Yes. Yes to the eye protection.
Sixth Log:
Well. Squinting is pretty much the same as eye protection, right? Eye lids. That’s what they’re for.
Seventh Log:
Why would anyone choose a battle axe as a weapon? This seems insane. Maybe that was why they made battle axes. That way you would know, whoever picks that thing, watch out.
Eighth Log:
How much logs does it take for a fire? I don’t even know. Is it three? Or one-hundred? I feel like I should have at least some idea here.
Ninth Log:
When I’m done, do I just leave the axe slammed into the stump out here? Because that’s what they do in movies.
Tenth Log:
Screw it. I’m doing it.
Back Inside:
Shit. Leaving the axe in the stump. What was I thinking? That’s how Jason always gets an axe. Someone just leaves it in a stump somewhere. Better put it in the shed. I know that’s not much protection, but you never see Jason calmly enter a shed and pull an axe down from its proper place on pegboard.