Once a highly-trained assassin, Al Simmons was double-crossed by his own partner and killed, but once in hell he made a deal with Maleblogia to see his wife once more. He was returned to Earth hideously scarred and possessed of supernatural powers, which he used to become…Spawn!
Once a highly-trained guy at watching movies about assassins, even The Specialist starring Sylvester Stallone, which was goddamn terrible, Pete was double-crossed by his worst enemy. Or is that just single cross? You always here about the double, but no one talks about the ol’ single cross, which I guess is just fucking someone over who you meant to fuck over all along?
Anyway, Pete was sent to hell by his enemy, the lady from King Soopers who is always questioning his self checkouts on produce. I mean, he didn’t actually travel to hell. She just confirmed his belief that hell is really in the mind, a place of pai and torture and ill-labeled organic kale.
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Unaware for most of his life that he was more than human, Jeremy Stone discovered that he was part-human, part-Titanthrope, which meant he could change his own mass at will. However, these changes in mass and strength came at the cost of his intelligence. He joined the superteam WildC.A.T.S as…Maul!
Pretty much sure that he was human and 100% correct, Pete found that he could increase his mass through a combination of sheer willpower and moving in next to a donut shop. He adopted a series of stray cats who he CALLED the WildC.A.T.S. much to the chagrin of his vet as Pete insisted on the periods being in the right spot every time. It’s annoying to type, trust me. With his new cat force, Spartan, Grifter, Voodoo, Zealot, Warblade, Void, Lord Emp, and TJ Cinnamon (he ran out of WildC.A.T. names long before running out of love) Pete continues to protect the world by consuming far more than his fair share of Fancy Feast and insulin.
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Found naked in a burning field, Dragon was taken in by Chicago PD Lt. Frank Darling. As the city was plagued by superhuman villainy, Darling asked Dragon to join the force and help bring down the new breed of supercriminals. Armed with super strength, a healing factor, and a motherfuckin’ badge, a man without a past became…The Savage Dragon!
Found naked in a burning field, Pete was poked with sticks and some kids made fun of his wiener. He decided to join the Chicago PD because it turns out you can smoke in the car and nobody can really do anything about it.
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Um…wow. I’ll just take this directly from Wikipedia:
Thomas John McCall was an average underachieving 16-year-old. When he swallowed a vial of top secret genetic material in his father’s lab, a transformation occurred, and McCall’s body became a mass of granite-like organic rock, while still exhibiting the emotional immaturity of a 16-year-old. Later, Thomas assumed the identity of Badrock when he was recruited to join the high-profile government superteam, Youngblood.
Huh.
Pete found a vial of genetic material in his father’s office as well. He immediately put it back in the file cabinet and never spoke of it again, although sometimes he’s haunted in wondering what happened to that vile vial, what it’s purpose was, and what it’s ultimate fate may have looked like.