Moments Where Pete Would Have Exploded With Feces If He Were In This Commercial And Using the Product

0:02 – While straining so hard on a straw that he was causing the structure of said straw to warp.

0:04 – Mid-effort while dragging a giant spoon through lush grass.

0:06 – As a result of the shock of knowing that everyone could see down my blouse.

0:07 – After the shock of a fire bell going off for no real reason.

0:09 – When someone suggested I try to sleep in a circle bed.

0:09 – When my body realized that I was sleeping on pristine white sheets.

0:09 – Also in pure white clothes.

0:11 – The sun’s overpowering morning rays blast the matter right out of me.

0:12 – Stretching first thing in the morning after a long night of diarrheaing.

That’s 9 instances of diarrhea in 16 seconds.  Better than every other second.  This is the closest I’ve come to a product endorsement of sorts.